A family is comprised of memories. As the memories fade from our heads, it’s helpful to have photographs handy to witness the evolution of your family, and how everybody changes and grows through the years.
But for most mums, there is always on person missing: you.
Are you a ghost mum?
“Hi, I’m Samantha and I’m a ghost mum”. I hate to admit it but in photos of my family, I don’t seem to exist. I have hundreds of images of my son and dog – many of which include my husband – but I appear in very few. Even before my son was born, I wasn’t overly keen on having my photograph taken. I don’t like it when I am caught off guard, or snapped at a wrong angle in a photo. I know I am not alone in feeling this also. And when I am in a photograph, I tend to tear it apart as I hate how I look in it. Take this photo for instance….
This is what I see….
Why we avoid photographs as mums
As women, we often feel self concious and have mixed feelings about having our photos taken. This is particularly true for new (and not-so-new) mums and seeing what our bodies go through during pregnancy. When it feels like there is so much pressure to “bounce back” to our pre pregnancy weight, we often prefer to stay hidden or avoid the camera altogether when it’s pointed at us. What is your excuse?
- “My hair is a mess”
- “I’ve got no make-up on”
- “I need to loose weight”
- “I don’t know what to do in a photo”
- “I can never relax when I get my photo taken”
- “I hate seeing photos of myself”
- “I just want the kids – I don’t need to be in them”
But lets take a moment and imagine our children 10…even 20 years from now…. flipping through a family photo album and not finding a single photo of you in it. You’ve erased yourself not just from their story, but from your family’s story too.
#Existinphotos
One day, all your children will have is photographs of you. These photographs will be the most precious things your children have to cherish you when you are gone. Maybe this is a bit morbid, but you know what? It is so true. They will not be looking at the photographs and commenting on the fact their Mum had a few wrinkles around their eyes, or they had a spot on their chin. Do you know what they will notice? They will notice the smiles as you cuddle them. They will remember the closeness, and tenderness of the hug during that photograph. Do you know what my son will see when he looks back at that photograph of me and him in 20 years time?
This year, I would love to help you get some photos that you feel incredible in. It is important you exist in the photographs… your future self will thank you and your children will thank you.
